Caught In Dilemma

Life is full of Ups and Downs as some people might describe it to be similar as a roller coaster ride. But for me it's more like a piece of painting where you can draw and fill it with whatever colour that you prefer.

Basically, I hate to make decision. I hate to spend time thinking of what to do next and what is not suppose to be included into the decision. Sometime it takes me seems ages to finalised a decision. But when I start on it, I will stick to it and make sure everything is on the track without much disruption.

During these few weeks of my absent from this blog, God has prepared us for some new situations which I am quiet taken back off and still don't have the time and chance to sit, think and pen down each details. My feeling now seems like I am caught in a Dilemma with a mixture of overwhelm and fear. I don't know what to do, I don't know what we have now is it a blessing in disguise or ........ I really can't figure out what is the situation. It seems that we are not aware of what the enemies are coming up with.


"我 虽 然 行 过 死 荫 的 幽 谷 ，
也 不 怕 遭 害 。
因 为 你 与 我 同 在 。
你 的 杖 ， 你 的 竿 ， 都 安 慰 我 。"
诗 篇 23: 4


"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
Psalm 23: 4


Lord! We need you. We need you to be our protector whom we can trust and cast our burden to. Lord! Show us the path. Clear the fog in our eyes and show us the light ahead of us. Lord! Only you will be able to understand and in control of this situation. Please show mercy on your humble servants and lead us out of this valley of shadow.

Parenting Love

It had being about two months since I pen down my last thought here. As usual, Days have being busy for us and it's rather routine from shuffling between work, my boy and household. I guess we have slowly adjusted to the current life-styles and we are very happy with what we own now.

Last Sunday is Mother's Day and this year with some help from me, Reyon is old enough to make me a cute Bento Lunch and our favourite Chocolate Muffins using those tools that I prepared for him. I am so happy and glad to see that now my little darling has grown up well and also getting more and more well behavior these days. Praise Lord!

Last few days, while reading my blogpal list, I came across a Mother's Day post by Jessica from Gift from Heaven. This is such a beautiful post with warm-hearted photos of her and her lovely boy.......When I saw this post, my heart melts, it reminds me on my role as a Mother to Reyon. God put Reyon in my life and appointed me the to take the responsible to take care, teach and love him with all I have. The role of parenting job is not an easy task especially for a mum. Maybe as woman, we sometime tends to be more emotional rather than rational in expressing our thoughts or making decisions.


耶 和 华 是 我 的 力 量 ，是 我 的 盾 牌 。
我 心 里 倚 靠 他 ， 就 得 帮 助 。
所 以 我 心 中 欢 乐 。 我 必 用 诗 歌 颂 赞 他 。
诗 篇 28: 7

The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
Psalm 28: 7

I remember in my earlier twenties, I used to teach young children from the age of 4 up to teenagers group. At that time, the more I mixed around with those kids the more I told myself that I don't think I will want to have any kids of my own because their behaviour really drives me crazy sometime. But after I got married and have my own kid, those perceptions are no longer there. I love my son just as much or even more than I love myself. From the day I pregnant him till the day I gave birth and watch him grown up day by day....the joy of being a mother is nothing to be compare of..... Whatever hardship or sorrow will be gone when you see their happy smiles and touch their little hands....... Those little kiddy conversations between us will somehow brighten up my hectic days and bring joys into our life........

So no matter what happen or how bad the situation you are in ..... give a thought of your mum. If she can go through all the pains and obstacles during pregnancy and birth in order to take care of you and love you ever since you are born, I guess nothing else is more important then taking care of her in return. Just like it is mentioned in the bible that God will never forsake us even we are down with grey hair or weak in our body. Sometime even though I might not totally agreed with what my mum does in certain area but I admire her courage of raising us in her life. I knew I can be even stronger then her, because I have the LORD with me and reyon now.........Amen!

Growing Up

Today's preaching is about serving Mission Pledge and how the way we honour God with our pledge and words. I am very touch by the Holy Spirit on the feeding Mission when I saw those little kids whom are almost the same age as my dear son wondering around in the street without even proper attire or food. They have either lost their parents, home or being abundant. My heart shutter and my tears goes to them.... I feel that we are so much fortunate and our kids are so much well clothed and feed by us compare to them.

While listening and watching the feeding program footage......... I sudden realised and awake by these suffering kids. I cried in tears and I just want to thank God, thank him for giving me the opportunity to be a mother and especially a single parent. As most of us know it's not easy to being a parent and furthermore I am taking both the role of a Father and Mother responsibility. But our God is wonderful, even though He knew that this is not easy task to be handle alone. He choose to trust me, He have faith in me and He had assigned this big responsibility to me. I thank him that He didn't give up on me, even it takes me about 2 years to realise what He had planned for us. Oh Lord, you are our Heavenly Father, our one and only God and we trusted You whole heatedly. You have always look and plan far ahead for us and your Will is greater than anything else in this World.

"一 主 ， 一 信 ， 一 洗 ，
一 神 ， 就 是 众 人 的 父 ，
超 乎 众 人 之 上 ，
贯 乎 众 人 之 中 ，
也 住 在 众 人 之 内 。"
以 弗 所 书 4: 5-6

"one Lord, one faith, one baptism;
one God and Father of all,
who is over all and through all and in all."
Ephensian 4: 5 - 6


Oh Lord..... I know eventually one day my dear son will grown up just like recently I have realised that he is no longer that small little baby that I used to carry around whenever I go. I knew in another 1 or 2 years time, I have to change my attitude to him in a completely different way. I cannot treat him as a little baby, pamper and spoilt him. I knew the time has approaching, and you have slowly mould me into another phase of parenting life. I knew you will help me, you will guide me and your Holy Spirit will be with us. There are still so many things for me to learn, for me to catch up with and Lord I knew you will give me all the strength to complete this task because you have Faith in me just like I have in you...........

Oh Lord, there is still a lot of parents out in this world whom are puzzle with their roles. I pray for them that You will enlighten them with your Holy Spirit, You will speak to them and touch their life and I believed and trusted You have the power to change their life and to bless them richly. Oh Lord, I pray that You can teach and guide us to be more like you, to discipline our kids and lead them to righteousness path. You are our Heavenly Father and we depend everything on you... Lord you promised you will not let go of us and you will not leave us in the hand of the evil.

"你 当 倚 靠 耶 和 华 而 行 善 。
住 在 地 上 ， 以 他 的 信 实 为 粮"
诗 篇 37: 3

"Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture."
Psalm 37: 3

It's Time

Recently I have being rather upset or stress over my dear son behaviour and learning progress. I admitted that all along I have being very protective and lenient over things that he wants to do. I always let him have all the freedom that he wants because I feel that I have omit my duties as a mum to take care of him and provide him with a complete family. But recently, I realised that what I am doing or my so called "Goodwill" are actually not right and productive. In another word, I have "Spoilt" this child as in I have give in to him too much...... My Love to him has eventually cause him to became a "Spoiled Brat".

From the way he speaks, the way he behaviour and his attitude towards his learning process I am really very upset. Furthermore, he is also a very picky eater. He really has his own selection of food and he even insists on what he wants or what he dislike. Oh Lord!!! Is this the way modern parents like me who cause all these problems to be implant to our kids. Oh Lord!!! You as our Father, you devote us and you discipline us so that we can be more like you. But we as parents in the earth, we have devoted to our kids too much that we have actually give in to them in order to please them.

Lord! I realise my mistake and I knew it not late to repent as I still have chance to change this "Spoiled Brat" of mine because he is also your Child. You are also his Heavenly Father........ Oh Lord! Give me the wisdom, give me the strength. Let me teach this child of yours to walk in God's way....... I am lost, I totally lost the guideline to be a mum. I cannot concentrate on teaching, discipline and coaching him at the same time. My mind is too occupied. My body is too worn out.

Lord I believed You can create all kind of miracles and I believed You are the Only One who can helps me. Oh Lord! I knew You are always by our side and I knew You have hear my prayer and You have the power to change this kid because you Loves Him and You are our Heavenly Father. You are always in You delight in his prayer to You and You wants to see him grow in your Words and walk in your way. Amen! In the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit we pray, Amen!


Continue...........(19.02.2009)


God do hear our prayer and He is such a wonderful Father of all. He knew that I am heartache as being a single parent and He immediately comfort me using one of His Child as the comfort angel to me....... Do read up this interesting article from Jessica.......... "When you were sleeping".

Yesterday night my dear son was down with high fever due to flu and cough and I was very heartache and stress. I, myself on the other hand is having terrible migraine due to work and bug flu....... So I really cried to the Lord that I really cannot take care of this situation.... I pray that He will send angels to be with us and help us. May His healing hand be upon us so that my dear son will have a peaceful night even he is down with fever....... After the prayer I knew that the Lord is here with us, the fever subside throughout the night and He have preserved my strength and keep me awake to take care of my boy despite of my migraine. Praise Lord! You are always so great and may your glory be shown through us.........